My Crappy Stories

Spoons

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:43:50 GMT

I have no spoon.

Now I am sure you all are saying, so what? Well...I am at work, an I am hungry, and I work another 2 and a half hours...and I brought easymac for dinner. But I have no spoon. I cannot eat.

*pouts*
LS

Selling Photo Ops for Chicago

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:09:52 GMT

Tickets have been sold, thanks.

~~I have found myself with a couple extra photo ops for Chicago, so ebay here they come. I'm linking this all over, so people have a chance to get 'em.~~

~~Jensen ticket auction~~

~~J2 (Jared and Jensen) ticket auction~~

Lady Starhawk

Doubt, A rantish freak-out

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 23:16:32 GMT

So I was pretty sure I understood a concept from class. I knew what it was and I understood it. I didn’t think it was that hard.

But when we started going over it in class on Thursday, it seems that most of the class didn’t get the concept. So I start to panic. I seem to be the only person in the room who’s getting it…am I wrong? Do I not have it? Am I underthinking it?

All these doubts started running around in my head, where I was pretty confident before.

I sit back in the class and I start freaking out just a little bit. The rest of the class are freaking out about things. Getting worried, and asking if some of the things we’re doing now in class is something that we would do in the real world setting. When the teacher specifically said that it’s not.

So during a little break she gave us I had to try and calm down the class. Explain to them that we are being taught how to think, being taught what we need to think about, and once the sheets that we’re filling out become second nature, we can move on to what we really have to document in real life.

I compared it to learning to drive. When you start to learn how to drive you have to think about every step in starting the car. But after you know what you’re doing, you don’t even think about it any longer. The work that we’re doing right now in class is being used to get us to think about things in a specific way. We’re being programmed, trained, molded, it’s not as hard as they think.

I was full of frustration and doubt on Thursday. I get it. I see the big picture. I know what’s being asked of us and why. I just don’t know why the teacher isn’t explaining it better.

And if the rest of the class doesn’t get it…do I really get it? I am not so sure now. *headesk*

LS
I get migraines from stress…guess who’s been trying to kick one since yesterday afternoon? *sigh*

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:27:37 GMT

Nobody should be surprised...since I'm from Minnesota and all :p.

You Speak General American English!

70% General American English

20% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Updateyness on me :)

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:38:57 GMT

So I have been quiet lately and people are starting to talk. Guess I should give y’all an update. WARNING: I am wordy and it's been a while since I've done this. I don't expect everybody to want to know what's going on with me, so if you don't really want to know, feel free to skip this :).

So I was at camp 2 weeks ago. I just loaded my pictures into my computer, and I am going to upload them to my photobucket this week. It was a good week. The kids were pretty good (if horribly whiny). It was cool the beginning of the week and warm by the end. It rained 2 days while we were there. The speaker was our church’s intern pastor, and he had the kids in the palm of his hand all week. It was really cool to see. My sister came up as usual, but this year our mother came up as well.

So after I got home I decided that it was time to get a “real” phone plan. I took my sister and brother-in-law to the Sprint store. I am the proud owner of a blackberry curve 8330, and a MiFi (a battery-operated gadget that acts like a router for a wireless signal). I have 450 anytime minutes and unlimited data and texts on the plan, and free talk to Sprint customers, and evenings and weekends (7pm-7am). I also am paying for a dataplan separate from the phone. Up until this time I had dial-up at home. Well now I am paying 70 bucks a month to have wireless wherever I go. The phone is also 70 a month. I have a 2-year plan, and 2-years of school, so this will serve me well while I am in school. (Let me know if anybody wants my number, I’ll share.) Found out my usage for the internet at home is more than I thought...but once school starts I’ll be doing a good chunk of it there. So I think I’m gonna keep the wireless plan...or not. (Queen of waffling right here.)

The problem is the learning curve on the blackberry is very high. I know enough about computers to make myself dangerous when dealing with the thing. So I am struggling to figure out how to do things. The “how to” things from sprint and the “101” stuff are too simplistic, but the more technical explanations are too complicated. *headesk*

I am gearing up for school to start back up. Less than 3 weeks and I will be sitting in a classroom. I am taking a leave of absence from work this semester, and taking 16 credits. I am hoping to get a workstudy job, but I haven’t heard anything yet. I don’t know if I will be more, or less, active once school begins. It all depends on the workload in the classes.

The renaissance festival starts up in a few weeks as well. I work out there one day a weekend usually. I dress up, and sell CD’s at a stage. So I sit and listen to music all day while I’m out there. Not a bad gig if I do say so myself. I do need to get a new bodice made though; the one I have been using isn’t appropriately sized for me anymore. We have the pattern, just have to buy the fabric at this point.

Next, I have kind of let the Supernatural fandom move to the back burner. I was getting too involved, too obsessed. So after the season finale’ I pulled back a bit. Fortunately a couple of other “fandoms” have caught my eye. So now I am happily dabbling in a few places, but not obsessing over any of them. (Okay, I am obsessing a little, but only because I have that kind of personality...it’s a quirk.)

So I have started reading fanfics in Star Trek Reboot universe (the new movie). Since I have had a thing for Karl Urban since his days as Cupid :p it’s natural that I grabbed onto his Dr. McCoy. Turns out Kirk/McCoy has passed up Kirk/Spock on the livejournals as the most popular pairing ;). I think it’s the newer fans combined with the adversarial relationship Kirk and Spock had in the movie, as well as the BFF thing Bones and Jim had going. Bones and Jim had chemistry on the screen that Spock just didn’t. But that wasn’t written into the story either, they weren’t really meant to sizzle ;).

Also, I have developed a thing for Leverage. (If you don’t watch this show, give it a shot). I didn’t watch it at first because it didn’t seem like the kind of show I normally enjoy. And honestly, it’s not. But the characters are what’s keeping me there. They are all three-dimensional, complicated, flawed people. The writing’s not always the best, but the acting and the camera work make up for it completely. It’s a little bit action, and a little bit comedy, and I am enjoying it more than I thought I would. I’m even writing a story for Kam :p. I’ll share it when I get it done, but it’s taking more time than I thought it would to write, and Kam gets first crack at it ;).

I still need someone willing to come to the Supernatural convention with me in November. I don’t want to drive by myself, so I need someone to ride shotgun and keep me awake on the ride home. I have a J2 and a Jensen pic avaliable (which are both sold out) to whomever comes with me.

...

Anything else? *thinks* Nope, don’t think so :p. That’s enough...right?

*hugs to all*

Heather

Finally saw Star Trek :)

Mon, 25 May 2009 15:41:52 GMT

So I sat down Friday night, ready to run our weekly RPG game. We're playing Serenity and the crew landed themselves in an Alliance prison. They were in the middle of an escape last week when we had to stop for the night. We had out the dice, and the battlemat, when someone mentioned they had seen the Star Trek movie again that week. I mentioned I still hadn't had a chance to see it. They all looked at each other and said "let's go."

So we went.

Now I am what you might call a casual Star Trek fan. I have seen a bunch of episodes of all of the series' and all but the last couple of movies. I liked Next Generation, and I watch the Original Series if it's on, but the rest of them were *meh* to me. So I know what's what enough to get by and enjoy myself.

Gotta say...LOVED IT!!!!

Spoilers Ahead, if you haven't seen it yet :p.

It was one of the funniest damn movies I've seen in a long time. It was EXACTLY what I love in a movie. Action, adventure, comedy, sarcasm, and fun. (Although I WISH people would stop with the time-travel thing. It annoys me.) I think the people around me would prefer that I hadn't found it so amusing...but screw them, I was having a good time :). And yes, I am one of those people, I laugh out loud at a movie :p.

I have been a fan of Karl Urban since his Cupid days on Xena. Have loved him in everything he does. He plays a lovable bastard so well it makes me all squishy inside. And he ROCKED IT as McCoy.

The kid playing Kirk had the most amazing eyes...and I really liked his performance. The chick playing Uhura was HOT. *fans self* And I thought Simon Pegg did an awesome job as well.

Were they the same as the original actors who played those parts? Nope. Were the characters recognizable? Kinda. Was it still fun? HELLS YEAH.

Ok, the whole flying through the debris of the fight...Serenity did it WAY better. Wash trumps Sulu. He is obviously NOT a leaf on the wind. Although Sulu survived HIS movie *grumbles*.

Also at the end Old Spock's selfless 'You stay here in starfleet, I'll make the sacrifice to mate with the young Vulcan hunnies and repopulate the species.' What color is Vulcan Viagra? One of my friends made an observation though...young Spock couldn't go and help repopulate...Uhura woulda cut 'im. :p

I loved that Kirk was constantly getting his ass kicked. That's not normal for our action heroes today (Certain Winchester siblings excepted). Usually the hero is victorious. But Kirk was always getting beat up in the show, and I loved that they kept that. You'd think that someone would give that boy some hand to hand lessons or something.

"Fencing" LOL. Sulu had MOVES. And I loved his sword. I want a collapsible sword. Like an umbrella, only sharp. Of course I accidentally opened my umbrella last week and gave myself a black eye as I was cleaning out my car...so maybe a collapsible sword isn't such a good idea.

I am surprised that there was any set left after Eric Bana chewed up all the scenery. He was the main weak point in the movie. The whole "plot" felt stuck in there just to give the exposition of the characters a backdrop. It felt kinda weak and I still am not entirely sure what the heck was happening. But *shrug* not like any Trek movie is especially plotty...search for whales anybody? ;)

Did I mention I LOVE Karl Urban? And HATE time travel? Just checking.

I'm sure there's more I didn't mention. I don't tend to see movies twice in the theater...but I might have to see this thing again.

Laters,
Lady Starhawk

Computers suck headesk

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:43:01 GMT

So my father talked me into letting him "upgrade" me to a bigger harddrive. He got a newer computer, so it kind of made sense. Except I had JUST gotten all the kinks out of it since I had some virus issues and got the new scanner program in and running. Things were great. Granted, I was out of space on the 40Gb drive, but I could just go in clean it out, no big deal.

Well Dad kind of pushed and I let myself be swayed. He copied my harddrive onto the bigger drive (to be called 160 from now on). THEN discovered that his "old" drive was a different kind than my "old" drive. his being the "newer" kind that is used, and mine being the "old" one (my computer is from 2005). So it wouldn't plug in.

No big deal, just put the old drive back in. No harm, no foul...except this is MY life we're talking about. So he puts the old drive in and it starts asking for the boot disc. Ok, let's do the math, shall we? The computer is almost 4 years old. I have no idea where the boot disc is. I tore my bedroom and the craft room apart looking for it, and all I am left with is a broken computer and a mess.

Ok, well, he has a 120Gb harddrive from a computer he bought from work that had been replaced with a new one, and the drive fit into the slot. It had the businessey version of XP, but hey, it worked. Except it wouldn't recognize that there even was a modem in the computer. He put my 40 into the spot formerly held by the 120.

Ok, dad has a copy of XP professional, key code and all. No worries, I'll install a clean copy of XP, and yoink the drivers from Gateway (the brand of the computer). So I formatted and reinstalled XP. Cool. Done.

I have my old OLD computer (2000) which I am on now, set up as a backup. It's slow as crap, but it works. I download the drivers and copy them over to my baby.

However, the new HD and the new copy of XP refuses to even acknowqledge that there IS a modem in there, let alone allow me to install drivers.

So 2 hours of work, and I still don't have my baby working at ALL. I am still going to have to buy a boot disc from Gateway for 20 bucks and wait a week while they send it to me.

Plus sides:
I have a copy of the drive, so I didn't loose any DATA.
I can still get on the internet with my old OLD computer.

So it's not all bad, but I am so frustrated right now I just want to cry. I was going to go to the library and download stuff using the wireless internet, but since i have no computer, that's not an option.

If you read this far, congratulations. I know that other people have REAL problems in the world...but *headesk* I'm upset damnitt. This has actually made me cry more than once...including right now :(.

Just had to vent,
Lady Starhawk

Watchmen

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 02:01:33 GMT

I saw it Saturday morning. I really enjoyed it. I knew nothing about the story except what I saw in a few trailers.

The blue penis was distracting.

There, I said it.

I am not going to deny it. I found myself fighting to look at his face, because the junk was right THERE. I will never again complain about the inequality of nudity in movies. The phrase "why is it always the chick we see nude, but the guy is allowed to stay covered?" will never again pass my lips, or fingers.

Apparently male full-frontal nudity is alright as long as the man in question is blue? Was it because of the fact that it was animated? Did the MPAA just not notice?

Okay, I'm done with that topic.

I found the movie very good, if a bit graphic for my taste. There was more than one scene where I found myself chuckling. The most apparent: The "Flight of the Valkryie" playing over a giant blue man squishing people like water balloons. I think had another music track been used I wouldn't have had as much of a laugh. That piece of music has been so overused in parody movies and sketches that I can't help but find whatever it's accompanying amusing. It just is.

I really liked the dark dry morbid humor in the movie. The moral gray areas were refreshing. And the fact that several of the main characters would have been the villains in many other movies.

I haven't read the source material. I knew nothing about the story or the characters when I came into the movie. I didn't find myself confused or lacking for information. If you were paying attention the clues you needed to follow (and even to anticipate some aspects of) the story were there. I liked the fact that they didn't just hand you the information or the story, you actually had to pay attention and follow along. It didn't insult my intelligence, and still gave me the information I needed to get up to speed.

The Sound effects in this were AMAZING! In many of the action sequences I was more in awe of the sounds than the visuals of the fights. The sound was so visceral and sharp. And the songs picked to accompany the story were perfect. I don't necessarily like the songs, but they were perfect for the story.

Not sure I am going to see it again in the theater, but I did buy the graphic novel. And it's one I plan on owning when it comes out on DVD.

Lady Starhawk;
This phrase went through my head more than once during the movie: "Why don't you put some shorts on if you plan on fighting any more evil today?" - The Bowler, Mystery Men.

My buddy Tim Saturday night had this to say *sung to the Green Giant "jingle"* "Ho, ho ho. Blue Penis" LOL

Chicago...The PICTURE!!!

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:52:44 GMT

Here's the account of me and my picture. I was super lucky. It was PERFECT.

Ali convinced me a few months ago to use my crochetting hobby to make the boys gifts for the convention. So I got some camouflage yarn and made a hat and a scarf for each of them. A darker one for Jared, and one with more white for Jensen. Jared's scarf ended up much longer than Jensen's, but I think it's for the best, as Jared's taller ;). I also left a note that told them they can trade if they want.

So I got in the line and I was freaking out. As we went into the room the bodyguard took my purse, but had me take my gifts. I asked the woman RIGHT THERE taking the tickets what I should do with them (expecting to put them on a table) and she said, “you can present your gifts, but keep it short”.

Then BAM there they were. I walked up and handed them to them, “Here these are for you.” They took them, both said thank you, and Jared asked “What are they?” “Hats and scarves.” They both smiled, “I know it gets cold in Minnesota, so I figured it probably gets cold in Vancouver.” They placed them somewhere, I have no idea where, I was in a bit of a daze, and Jensen looked straight at me and asked, eyebrows raised and mouth agape, “You made these?” (Jensen was less than a foot from me, he bent over slightly and made sure to catch my eye, as I was looking at the floor, and looking straight into my eyes) I nodded, probably blushed under my makeup and nodded, “Yup.” Jared said “it does get pretty cold up there” Jensen said “Not as cold as where you are though.” We all laughed a bit, Jensen put out his arm to guide me to the right spot and as we were arranging for the photo Jensen asked “How long did it take you?” I shrugged and answered, “A few weeks” (I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had just finished his 20 minutes before) as Jared put his hand on my shoulder and Jensen came up close. I put my hands near their backs (I didn’t touch, I wasn’t sure if that was okay with them, or me…I’m not a touchy person) and looked at Chris (the photographer) He made some adjustments to the camera and took the photo, I thanked them, and stepped away. As I walked away Jared said “We will definitely wear them.”

I knew I had been warned to keep it short, but I wasn’t the one prolonging it. :p

Jensen was right in front of me, and made eye contact after I handed over the gift. And DAYM those eyes…*swoon* . Now I know he’s tall. I have several friends in the 6’ range, but he seemed taller than I thought he would be. Jared was farther away from me so he didn’t really register for me. He was also quieter, so I didn’t really make eye contact. But a friend of mine is 6’10” so Jared doesn’t really register “tall”. (I speak to Bill’s sternum.)

But Jensen was the more chatty for my photo, which I guess is unusual. Jared’s usually more talkative and Jensen’s quiet. I could tell Jensen was genuinely impressed that I had hand made them, and I think it shows in the picture. I got an amazing smile from him, and Jared was more alive in mine than some of the others I saw. Kam got a smirk, Liz got a toothless smile, but the smile Jensen had in mine is totally genuine. It was AWESOME!!

I was flying high for hours after that….I think I still am.

*swoon*

So to give you an idea of their height, I am not a short woman. I’m 5’8”, and I am not slouching.

Heather
Aka
Lady Starhawk

(I think mittens to match the scarves and hats is on the list for next year.)

Second Opinion: Stoopid Ankl

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 04:12:10 GMT

So I went for my second opinion today. It was a totally different experience than Friday, although the same outcome.

I found out that my copay is significantly less for seeing a PA than a specialist MD. So I need to figure out how to get my $$ back from overpaying at the other clinic *headesk*.

The nurse recognized my Trilok right away, and understood the couple of issues I had with it. She did say it was one of the best, and I agreed with her, because it really does “wick” away moisture like it should (it ends up wet on the outside). But as soon as I take off my shoe it slides down and does nothing for support, and there’s no compression across the injury site. But when I wear a shoe with it, the support is awesome, It’s comfortable, and my foot doesn’t get all hot and sweaty.

The nurse was chatty, and very pleasant in a genuine way.

So the PA comes in, and he’s a very personable gentleman. I tell him that I am here for a second opinion because of a lack of professionalism from the previous PA. He talked to me about the injury and then did an exam. He thought that the pain I was having right around the bone was unusual, so he ordered more x-rays. They did those right across the hall, and I was right back in the room. They showed up on the computer a few minutes later. (Technology astounds me sometimes.)

I have a small bone spur on the inside of my foot (but it’s just due to normal wear and tear). But other than that there’s no problem with the bones where the pain is.

He basically told me that it should “quiet down” in the next month or two, but if I continue to so the pt exercises it should heal. If it does anything “funny” or if things don’t improve (or get worse) I should come back in to see him. But he thinks it’s just going to be a matter of time.

He was very professional, polite, and definitely cared. He left to go order the x-rays and I heard him speaking to someone on the phone about me (he was right outside the door). I asked the nurse and he said it was the physician he works under (color me shocked).

So he basically told me the same thing as the other gentleman. But I don’t feel slighted, brushed off, or ignored. So mission accomplished. I know now that I don’t need surgery, and that, eventually, the injury will heal with just the pt exercises and time. And I feel like I can trust what I have been told.

So good news, and bad. But this time, I think I can live with it.

LS

Ankle Update: 13 weeks later...

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:18:15 GMT

And it's still swollen and painful.

I went to physical therapy on Wednesday, and we both kind of decided that we had done about all we could do. My ankle has gained strength in all but one direction (and I have worked each "direction" equally, so that's a little frustrating) and 2 weeks ago we started working on other muscles. Quads, hips, calves, etc. were all added to the mix.

We talked about braces, and what the future holds there. She had one that she wanted to show me, but it didn't fit. So that was annoying, but I think I can find something better elsewhere. Basically she told me to keep working on the exercises she had given me and find a brace I like. She was going to add a note in for the Orthopedic doctor (who I was going to see Friday) and keep my file open for 3-4 weeks in case he wanted me to come back.

I left feeling pretty good about that (since my copay for pt was 50 bucks a shot, it was nice that I was done, but I was frustrated that I had done everything she asked of me, and I was still having lots of trouble).

So I saw the Orthopedic guy today (Friday) and let me tell you, I am frustrated as all heck right now.

Now last time I went, he gave me this complicated brace, and told me to go to the physical therapist 3-4 times a week to make sure I do the exercises. (The therapist thought that was outrageous, and had me come in every 2 weeks.) He did an x ray, and moved around the joint, and said it was going to take time, but if I did the exercises every day it would improve. (Which didn't happen.)

So today I go back in, hoping that he would do some diagnostic tests to determine what's really going on in there. Man, was I wrong.

He walks in and he's still talking to someone in the hall. He comes in and sits down and asks how I am doing with the boot. (In my brain I'm like 'boot?? You gave me a brace'.) He must have seen my confusion, because he then asks, "lace-up?" I put out my foot and show him the brace he had given me. He asked me how well the trilok (the brace I had) was working out, and I told him it was a tiny bit better. He seemed shocked. Absolutely shocked that I was still having trouble even after wearing this brace. (That was my first indication that this wasn't going to go well. I should have cut and run right there.)

So he had me take off my shoe, sock, and brace, and started moving and touching the joint. Now, about once a day I get this NASTY snap and feel and hear something move, but since he couldn't replicate it, he dismissed it. There was a lot of play in the joint, and it was snapping, crackling, and popping all over the place. He then told me that if there was a significant issue with the tendon I would be jumping off the table in pain when he touched it. (like I did 6 weeks ago when I saw him.) It still hurt a crap-ton when he touched it, but apparently not enough for him. He rolled back on his chair and told me it would just take time.

He said that he wasn't going to do any tests, no MRI, CT, or x rays, because it didn't need it. Once again got told 20% of ankle sprains are still symptomatic in a year. Then he said that it can take 2-3 months before it healed, I mentioned that the injury was 13 weeks ago, and he didn't seem to care, he said 2 months of physical therapy would fix the problem, and I corrected him again, telling him that I had already done 2 months of pt. He then mentioned when I saw him a month ago, I corrected him, it was 6 weeks.

My brain then sent up a large yellow light…he had gotten 4 things wrong; twice the brace I was given, time since the injury, time in pt, and then time since I saw him last. Things that were in my file. Things he should have gone over before opening the door. I knew at that moment, I was being humored, not treated.

He then said I should go back to pt 2-3 times a week, and stressed that I should be doing the exercises every day. He said because I am larger than most it was going to take extra time to heal, and that I needed to be sure to do the exercises every day. I assured him that I had done exactly as Erica had told me every day, and he just nodded and told me that he would tell any member of his family the same thing. It just takes time. It's not something that needs surgery, just time. Then he once AGAIN mentioned how my weight is effecting my recovery, and stressed that I have to do the exercises every single day. I once again assured him I was, but he didn't seem to believe me.

He told me to come back in 6 weeks, opened the door, and resumed the conversation he had been having when he came in, about another patient who needed a CT today and they had to clear her insurance.

Total time with the Physician's Assistant (not even a doctor…I paid the same to see a PA as I would have to see an MD…) less than 5 minutes.

Now I understand that my weight makes it harder for the injury to heal. I KNOW that. I know that I am significantly overweight. But that doesn't mean I am lazy, or don't do as I am told. It doesn't mean that I don't exercise, and I don't have discipline. He had a preconceived notion of me, and I don't think I could have said a single thing to change his mind.

Now I am not sure I got the brush-off because of my weight, the fact that I'm not an athlete, or because ankle sprains are so common, but I know when I have been brushed off. He didn't even try this time, got his facts wrong, and split as fast as humanly possible.

Needless to say that does not make me feel encouraged.

13 weeks after the injury, and I am still not much better off than I was a month ago. Lots of swelling, plenty of pain. I did the physical therapy, I do the RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation), I do every single thing that they ask of me, and I basically get "suck it up and deal, fatty".

I damn near cried when I got to the car. I texted a few people about my results, and drove home, upset. I was equal parts pissed, discouraged, and frustrated.

I talked it over with my mother, and decided to get a second opinion. I had gone to a specialist clinic. It only deals with Orthopedic injuries. I should have known I was in over my head when I walked in and saw all kinds of signed sports memorabilia on the walls, and the first thing as you walk in the door is Brock Lessnar's (sp?) WWE championship belt on the wall. I just had a feeling that me, the 300+lb cashier from Target with an ankle sprain wasn't gonna rate very high around here. That was my first impression, but I dismissed it, they're doctors, they should treat me the same. I should have gone with my first impression.

So I have an appointment at the Meadowbrook building (behind Methodist hospital). I use Park Nicollet clinics, and it's just another Park Nicollet clinic with specialists. Unlike Tria (that I went to before) that just contracts with Park Nicollet. It's with another Physician's Assistant, but the scheduling person told me the name of the doctor that he assists (which is more than I got from the fancy orthopedic only clinic).

I have a feeling I am going to be told the same thing, that it just takes time, but at least I am hoping for a fair shot. I am hoping to find someone who will believe what I am saying, and do something, anything to try and help me.

I apologize for this being so long, but I had a lot I had to say. If you're still reading here's a prize *sets out a plate of cookies*.

Laters,
LS

My Supernatural/Crow fic...need MOTIVATION

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:33:24 GMT

Killing Sammy is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I know I want to write this story, and I have most of it planed out, but I just can't get it written. I start the story with a "teaser" and then backtrack a bit to catch the reader up. Here's my "teaser":

Gordon leaned down and buried his knife to the hilt in his chest. Sam expected it to hurt, but it was surprisingly painless. “I’ve said it before Sammy, it’s nothing personal, I just can’t let you continue to live; you, and your demon spawn.”

As his vision darkened he heard a familiar female voice. “They’re taken care of hon.”

“Good job Jo.” Sam saw her move into the room and kiss Gordon passionately.

Sam closed his eyes, ready for the end. He knew that his family would all be waiting for him, everyone, that is, but the one person he wanted to see more than anything in the world.

He took as deep of a breath as he could, pain had no meaning, but his lungs did not want to cooperate. He managed to whisper one word as his vision darkened, “Dean.”

So...anybody gots some motivation for me to actually DO this...bring Dean back from the dead to enact revenge for Sammy...and redeem himself (maybe).

<Dean actually has been dead from the deal for 10 years when this happens, and it's the crow that's able to get him out of hell.>

HELP!!
Heather

9,702

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 15:06:13 GMT

9,702

That’s all the farther I got.

9,702

Not even as far as last year.

I admit I had some issues this month, but none of them are excuses for failure.

I’m going to keep writing my story, however. I’m going to finish it, just not in the allotted time.

Congrats to all that finished. You ROCK!

I suck.

Heather

Chatroom Blues :(

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:12:46 GMT

So this will be the first Thursday night I have missed since Croatoan aired and I started the chatroom (I am pretty sure I have at least made a cameo appearance every week).

I pissed some people off last week, so I hastily said I wouldn’t go in there anymore in order to make peace. However, I am starting to regret that decision. Why should I have to stop something I like because some people didn’t like what I had to say?

I also quit several yahoo groups I really enjoyed being a part of. I KNOW that quitting these things is what’s best for me…I’ve sunk into a depression that’s incredibly deep, and it’s starting to get dangerous. I know I need to distance myself from the negativity that’s running rampant all over the chatroom and yahoo group, but I’m really sad that I don’t get to be with people when I watch the show.

The whole reason I started the chatroom is so I don’t have to watch the show alone…and now because of a few overly sensitive people I am back to watching the show solo.

I still stand by what I said, and I have no intention of taking it back. If all you can do is find fault, then you need to just stop watching the show. If there’s no joy left in the show, why burden yourself with such a horrible thing…just turn the channel it’s easy, and will save you, and those around you lots of aggravation.

It’s going to be a bad night for me. I’m already triggered, and anxious, but to know that I’m not welcome in the chatroom anymore is the worst for me. It makes me incredibly sad that I can’t be in there tonight.

I know it’s my own damn fault for loosing my temper…but the blame doesn’t entirely rest on my shoulders.

People are entitled to their opinion…but so am I.

I have hidden all the blades…so hopefully I can keep myself safe tonight. When I’m upset, and there’s nothing I can do about it, I tend to cut. I haven’t done it for years, but when I’m twitchy and anxious and there’s nothing else I can do to fix it, resorting to physical injury helps. (Yes, I am a sick puppy…but it really DOES help.)

Later all.
Heather

I will be on Yahoo Instant messenger (theladystarhawk) tonight if anybody cares.

And the world's worst freind is...

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 19:35:04 GMT

...me

I did a very VERY bad thing today. I got mad at someone I love very much, for something that wasn’t her fault at all. In fact, she was helping me out.

I feel like such a heel.

I have been crying so much my head feels like it’s going to explode, and I can’t breathe (and my meds don’t seem to be working...of course if I could calm down it might help.) She won’t answer the phone, or text me back right now, so I KNOW I fucked up.

Par for the course with me. I am the world’s worst friend. You all might as well cut your losses right now. I’m just not worth getting to know.

I am going out of town for the weekend in a little while. The hotel I will be at has wi-fi so I can keep in touch, and post my NaNo progress if my muse hasn’t decided to desert me as well.

That is all.
Heather

Progress Report Day 5...6018 words behind

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 19:58:20 GMT

Progress is being made. I am up to 2,317. I know that’s a bit behind, but today’s the first REAL day I can write. If you take 50,000 words and divide it by 30, you get an average of 1,667 words a day. Being day 5 I should be at 8,335 by the end of the day. Not sure if THAT is going to happen, but I hope to get the first “story” done today.

I am doing a series of short stories involving my character Alisabeth from my Supernatural fanfics. These stories will be about her past, and, hopefully, the continuation of Catch a Demon by the Tale.

Good luck to everyone who is doing NaNo, and for those of you on the sidelines, I could use some encouragement. This is turning out to be harder than I thought it was going to be, but I THINK I am FINALLY on a roll.

Heather

Frakkin' Muses

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:08:35 GMT

So it’s day one of NaNoWriMo, and my Muse is nowhere to be seen. She was ready to go Tuesday, and I told her we had to wait till Thursday to start. Well, it’s Thursday, and I am uninspired. I got nothing. I KNOW what I want to write...but I can’t seem to put word to computer about it.

She abandoned me right when I needed her most.

So, anybody know where I can rent a Muse for a month?

Heather

One More Day - NaNoWriMo

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:30:51 GMT

Well, tomorrow begins National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org) so the fun will begin soon. I am going to try again this year (as some of you know) after my abysmal failure last year (20%). Hopefully I can get farther, if not finish the 50,000 word goal.

If you would like to read what I am writing, track my progress, send an encouraging message, or just point and laugh I will be posting what I am writing (and maybe some of my frustrations) here on my live journal.

Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 2e final

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:33:22 GMT

Here's the last piece of "Chapter" 2.

Catch a Demon by the Tale 2e

I must have cried myself to sleep, because I woke up on the couch with a blanket over me. Someone had taken off my braces and removed most of my weapons. I sat up and noticed even the blade I keep on my arm is gone. Must have been Dean. He’s the only one that knows about that knife.

I put on the braces and moved into my chair that was placed nearby. I rolled into the kitchen to see the three men sitting around drinking coffee. When I came in, they all stood up with uncertainty on their faces.

I knew I could change the mood by what I said next. There had been enough anger and sadness for a while, so I chose to make a joke. I looked straight at Dean, “I’m surprised you didn’t strip-search me.” I smirked and pulled a blade from my bra lining. “You missed one or two however.”

They all let out a sigh and Sam poured me a mug of coffee. Dean smirked, “No, I found it, I just didn’t want you to be completely unarmed.”

I rolled up next to him and grabbed his shoulder. I looked him in the eye, and nodded. He smiled and nodded back. “I appreciate the thought.” I winked and turned to look at Bobby, “So Bobby, you tell the boys about my assignment?”

“Not yet.”

Dean bowed towards me; “We were waiting for you to get up Sleeping Beauty.”

I grinned, “You should have had Sam try to kiss me. I mean the handsome prince often breaks the spell in fairy tales.”

Bobby cleared his throat. “I’m glad that your senses of humor have returned, but I think we have work to do.”

“Yeah.” I grabbed a notebook from the bag on the back of my chair and opened it to the page I was on when I took notes with John.

Bobby slid a plate in front of me. I looked up, “What’s this?”

“Eggs, bacon, and a biscuit.” Dean answered.

“I can see that, but why?” I looked at the sink and saw the dishes waiting.

“When was the last time you ate?” Sam asked settling back into his chair.

“Yesterday afternoon, while waiting for word that I could pick up-“ I stopped, looked up and smiled, “Yeah, I could eat.”

I ate as I explained to them what John had told me about the 1911.

When I was done, Sam looked at Bobby. “You think it’s true? Is there another gun like the Colt?”

“Yeah. I have heard rumors, but nothing substantial. Not even Daniel Elkins could track it down.” Bobby took my dishes and put them in the sink.

“I turned off Caleb’s phone when I found him. I don’t want to have to tell everyone he’s gone, so I decided to leave it be. Barry must have called Caleb, and not gotten through, so he called John.”

“And John didn’t have the time to track down another gun so he called you.” Bobby finished.

“Yeah.” Didn’t have time because he was about to send himself to hell.

“How do we fit in though?” Sam asked moving over to the sink.

“I need to fix up the Charger, and Dean’s going to need some help with the Impala.” Sam started to interrupt, but Dean cut him off.

“No, Sam. Engines have never been your thing. I think I get where she’s going with this.” He started tracing lines in the condensation on the table. “We work on getting the cars fixed up, and you and Bobby go through the books here to see if you can find anything on the spells used to make the weapons or about the guns themselves.”

“Do twice the work, in half the time.” Sam grabbed the rag and started washing the breakfast dishes.

“Exactly.” I rolled over and grabbed the towel. I looked up as Sam. “Just like at Jim’s place, huh?”

“Yeah. Washing the dishes always was actually fun when we did it together.” He looked down at me and smiled, “You would always tell me a story while we worked.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, we had some good times while washing dishes. But I have got to know kid, when did you get so damn tall?”

We all had a good laugh at that. We needed it too. A light-hearted moment before we get back into the hunt. I relaxed and told them a story.

*****
We fell into a routine quickly. Bobby would make breakfast in the morning, and Sam and I would do the washing up. Dean would, more often than not, hang around and help. He eventually jumped in to put things away once I was done drying them.

Bobby and Sam would move out into the study and go through the books Bobby had. Sam decided to start cataloging and organizing them so we could find things easier the next time around.

Dean and I would go out to the yard and start working on the cars. We went into town and got all of the parts we needed for the Charger, and some of what we needed for the Impala. I used some of my contacts to get parts shipped to us too.

We would work on the Charger for a few hours in the morning, and then switch over to the Impala for the rest of the day. We mostly worked in silence, but it was comfortable. The first day Dean felt the need to check my work on the Impala, and I did the same of his work on the Charger.

After that first day we were both satisfied that the other was competent, and we moved much faster on repairs after that.

While we were working on the Charger Dean noticed I had used a few stopgap measures to get her fixed up faster. He mentioned it to me as we were working.

“When I was fixing her, I was under the impression you were dying. The demon was out there, and the three of you were in no condition to fight off a litter of kittens, let alone the legions of hell. I did what I had to do to get her here, and I knew we would fix it later.”

I knew I was getting defensive, but I felt like he was condemning my parenting skills.

“No I get it, I do. And some of these fixes are clever, but I wish you hadn’t had to do them.” He pulled out a bundle of speaker wire and started replacing it with the right kinds of wiring.

“Me too.”

That really was the last of our conversations while working with the cars. Sure there was talk of what to do next, handing each other tools, and requests for help, but other than ‘shop talk’ there wasn’t really any chit-chat. And I was fine with that.

In the evenings Dean would sit on the porch with Bobby and drink beer while Sammy and I went over things inside.

I tried calling Barry a few times, but only got his voicemail.

Sam and Bobby were making steady progress on cataloging his library, but were no closer to a spell or the gun. They had found some interesting things, protections, exorcism rites, and such, but nothing about making a weapon.

We finished the Charger on the fifth day. We were even able to fix her paint job and body. She was shiny and new looking. The Impala was starting to resemble a car again. She didn’t have anything but an engine, and a frame, but the rest of the parts were slowly trickling in. We had ordered everything; it was just a matter of getting it all put back together.

Sammy and I were doing the dinner dishes when I heard my phone. It was Barry. I grabbed my notebook and started jotting down what he was telling me.

It turns out Browning’s Occult M1911 was being auctioned off in one week at a private sale in London. Barry had two invites to it and wanted me to come along. He also found the trail of some old books and writings that belonged to Browning. It has been reported to be an occult poetry book, but Barry had seen a page, and it was really a spell book. That wasn’t up for auction, but the gun was. He’s pretty sure it was the right gun because it has symbols carved into the gun that are consistent with the Colt.

I thanked him for the info and told him I would get the first flight to London I could find.

I hung up and called Bobby into the kitchen and told them what Barry told me.

“So it’s been found.” Dean said sitting at the table and breaking out the whiskey.

“And you’re going to leave.” Sam sat too.

“Johns’ last instructions to me were to find the gun and the spells used to make it. We need ammunition for it. Having the gun is a good thing, but it is useless without more bullets.”

“When are you going?” Sam was looking at the table.

“As soon as I can.” I glanced up and both boys looked a little sad. “You’re going to have to finish the Impala on your own, Dean. Think you can handle it?” I winked.

“I think so. I might even get it done faster with you out of my way.” He nudged me and winked.

I grabbed my phone. I had a contact at a travel agency; she would get me a good deal on a fast trip. “Bobby?” I turned to him.

“You can leave the Charger here, Beth. I’ll even make a place for her in the garage until you get back.”

“Thanks.” I went into the study to make the arrangements.

*****
The next day I was on a plane headed for London. I felt bad about leaving the boys, but they had Bobby. And each other. They would be fine. I was the one who was out on my own. Taking care of John’s last request.

The crystal was around my neck, but it was dark. The demon I was tracking hasn’t shown yet. I hoped to have the 1911 and ammunition by the time she dragged herself out of hell. I would avenge Caleb and Jim if it was the last thing I did.

Next time: Ireland

Lemme know what you think,
Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 2d

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:29:49 GMT

Here's the next part.

Catch a Demon by the Tale 2d

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew my phone was ringing again and it was dark outside.

“Hello?”

“Alisabeth, it’s Cliff.” The voice on the other end was all business.

“Hi Cliff. Everything set?” I sighed and gathered myself together.

“Yeah. Come on over whenever you’re ready. I’ll have him ready to go when you get here.”

“I’m on my way right now.” I started the car. “Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure, anything, hon.” I could hear warmth seep into his voice.

“Could I have a few minutes alone with him before you pack him up?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks. I’ll be there in a few.”

*****

There was only one car in the lot other than the hearses. I pulled around the back and parked up close to the building.

Cliff was waiting for me and opened the door as I approached. He led me inside and down to the preparation room. I explained I was taking John to Bobby’s where the boys would take care of him. Give him a warrior’s funeral.

When Cliff opened the door, John was lying on the table in the center.

“You said you wanted to see him, so I figured we could get him ready to go after you had a moment. Take all the time you need, sweetie. Come and get me when you’re done.”

I thanked him and waited until I heard his shoes move down the hallway.

I rolled up to the table and looked at him. He had been cleaned up. He looked pretty good, almost like he would wake up and make some kind of joke about me staring at him.

“John. I have some things I need to say to you. I know you’re not here. In fact I am pretty sure you’re in hell right now, given the circumstances surrounding your death, but for my own sanity I need to talk to you.”

“I am so angry with you right now. How could you do it John? I know you would walk through hell for your boys, but I never thought you’d actually do it. There had to be another way; some way that you could be here for them, for me. With Jim and Caleb both gone you were the only hero I had left. And now you’re gone too.”

“Dean is going to figure it out you know. That boy lives for you and Sam. Without you, he’s going to tailspin and it’s not going to be pretty. He loves you more than he loves himself. The pain of losing you is bad enough, but once he figures out he is the reason you’re gone, it’s going to destroy him. I don’t even think Sam can help him with that one.”

“You died with so many secrets, John. So many things you had found but didn’t want to tell anyone. I only hope that the key to winning the war hasn’t died with you.”

“After I bring you to Bobby’s I will start the search for the 1911. I want to thank you for letting me know about it. I hope you let some of your secrets out to others as well. If I can make more guns like the Colt it will turn the battle, and make it so we actually have an advantage.”

“I am going to miss you, John. I promise to look out for the boys as much as I can. I am going to have to leave them for a while to find the 1911, but once I do I promise I will team up with them, and we’re going to take this son-of-a-bitch out once and for all.”

I sighed. I locked my braces in place and used the edge of the table to lever myself up so I could see his face. “I love you, John Winchester. You saved my life, and you saved my sanity. You might have had a falling out with everyone you ever met, but you really always were one of the good guys.” I kissed his forehead.

The skin was cold. There was no sign of life. I fell back into my chair and put my head on his arm. I just let myself cry. For all those we lost this week, and for everyone still left behind.

*****
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I grabbed it and used the arm to pivot my chair around to face my attacker.

“Whoa, Lisa. It’s me.” I let go as soon as I saw it was Cliff.

“Sorry, man.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Don’t sneak up on a person like that.”

“I have been calling your name for a few minutes now. Are you ready?”

I sniffed and shrugged. “Give me a few more minutes?”

“Lisa, you’ve been in here for an hour now. If you’re going to get to Mr. Singer’s place tonight you should be off soon.”

I looked at my watch. It really had been in here for an hour. “Sorry, Cliff, yeah I’m ready I guess.”

“Go get your back seat ready. I’ll bring him out in a few minutes.”

I nodded and went back out to my car. I opened the top to make it easier to get John in, and pulled out all of the seatbelts. I wanted to lay him across the back seat, and secure him with the seatbelts.

Cliff brought out a gurney with a big black bag on it. “The body bag is air and fluid tight. It has inner and outer linings that are both sealed. You shouldn’t have any problems on your trip.” I helped him lift John up and move him into the back seat.

We sat him in the seat first, and were moving to lay him down when I giggled.

He raised his eyebrow at me and I shrugged, “Remember those ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ movies?”

He smiled, “Yeah, but somehow I don’t think the great John Winchester would appreciate the comparison.”

“No, but I find it amusing.” We finished securing John, and I laid a blanket over the black bag. I hit the button to close the topper and rolled up all the windows.

He dug in his pocket and handed me an envelope. “It’s John’s paperwork. If you get stopped, I don’t want you to get arrested for having a dead body in your backseat.”

“Thanks, Cliff. I appreciate it.” I hugged him and he opened the door for me.

“Anything for a fellow hunter.” I transferred myself into the seat, and he folded my chair up and set it in the back seat where I could reach it.

I don’t remember much of the trip. I know I was talking to John the whole way. Memories of him, of the boys, memories of Caleb and Jim. Things I have never told anyone, I told to the corpse in my back seat. I had a few hours to kill, so I figured I would make the most of it.

It was almost midnight when I got to Bobby’s place. I pulled right up to the house. I saw the screen door open even before I shut off the engine. I left the headlights on and watched the men come out of the house.

I hit the button to open the top and transferred myself out of the seat and into my chair. As soon as I was settled, Sam reached me and lifted me into a huge bear hug. I hugged him back. “I am so glad you’re okay, Sammy.”

He set me back down in my chair, but as soon as he stepped away Dean grabbed me and did the same thing. “You had me so worried, Dean. I was sure you were a goner hon.” I hugged him tight and didn’t let go, even when he started to relax his grip.

He set me down and Bobby came up to me. “Don’t expect a hug, Beth.”

“Bobby, I would be seriously afraid if you decided to give me a hug. These two girls are one thing, but I hold you to a higher standard.” He smiled and leaned down and kissed my cheek.

“Thanks for taking care of him, Beth.” He whispered in my ear.

I whispered back, “Next time, you get to retrieve the body.”

He laughed and motioned for me to follow him inside. I saw that he already had the sheet of plywood set up on the front stairs to make his home wheelchair accessible. I smiled; Bobby really was a softy.

I got to the steps and turned back to the car. They had removed the body bag from the car and were already headed out into the darkness.

Bobby laid a hand on my shoulder. “It’s something they have to do alone. You can’t help them with this.”

“I know. I already did it this week, Bobby.” I closed my eyes and tried to not think about the body that I burned a few days ago. “Let’s go inside. I need to do some drinking, and I know you’re the guy to do it with.”

*****
I rolled up to the table in the kitchen and Bobby set out two glasses. He then sat across from me with the whiskey. He poured us each a shot and nudged one across the table to me.

I picked it up and raised my glass, “To John. The most stubborn man on the planet.”

Bobby laughed, “And one hell of a friend.”

I nodded and we both knocked back the first shot of the night. I held out my glass, and he poured us both another. I raised my glass again, and Bobby followed, “To friends lost.”

“And found.” He finished, and we both downed drink two of the night.

We both got very quiet after that. “I got the boys set up in the back bedroom. You can have mine. I’ll crash on the couch.”

I looked up at that. “No Bobby, you can keep your room, it’s on the second floor anyway man. I can’t get up there. I’ll crash on the couch.”

“I’m sure they boys wouldn’t mind helping you up the stairs.” He poured us both another shot.

“I don’t want to have to rely on them. I’m good on the couch.” I knew I wasn’t going to be here long. I was going to go through everything Bobby had on the 1911, and any spells that might have been used by Colt. Once I got through that I was gone.

“Think they will be back tonight?” Bobby stood and motioned for me to join him.

“Nope. They will stay until the embers die out. Then they’ll come back here and crash.” I followed him to the porch. “I’ll get Sammy to start in on research tomorrow.”

“And what will you be doing?” Bobby had a mischievous grin on his face.

“I have two classic cars to help restore. I’m going to need Dean’s help with the Charger, and I know that he’s going to need some help with the Impala. Sam’s no good under a hood, unless a miracle has happened in the last few years?” Bobby shook his head, “And with the slight lack of a Dewy-Decimal system around here, I need you helping Sam do the research.” I sighed, “John’s last orders were for me to watch out for the boys and find the 1911. I plan on doing both.”

Bobby and I sat there on the porch until the sun came up in comfortable silence. The boys came around the side of the house. They nodded at me, and I nodded back. It was done then. They sat down with us. Dean sat on the steps, and Sam sat near my feet.

They smelled like gasoline and smoke. I felt a tear trail down my face. It was the same smell from when I burned Caleb.

We were quiet for a long while, listening to the sounds of the morning. None of us seemed to be in a hurry to move inside. Eventually Bobby broke the comfortable silence; “We lost a lot of good hunters this week.”

I bit my lip and whispered, “Yeah.”

Sam reached up and squeezed my hand. I squeezed it back and took a deep breath.

“We have work to do.” They all turned and looked at me. I shrugged, “Well, we do. Come on, I’ll make some coffee and we can discuss what needs to be done.”

Sam shook his head. “No.” He stood up and towered over me. He was mad. I could tell, but I didn’t cower. I could feel my temper flaring up. The little brat thinks he can just take a little vacation.

“The world keeps turning, Sam. It sucks, but we have a job to do.” I unlocked the wheels on my chair and started to move inside.

He moved in front of me and yelled, “Dad is dead Lisa.”

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. I whispered low, “And so is Caleb.” I looked him in the face and let every emotion show. “My big brother is dead, Sam. My protector, best friend, and partner in crime is gone, forever. I got to find his body not 12 hours after finding Jim’s. I got to clean up the blood, and go through his pockets. I got to burn him all by myself.” I locked my braces, grabbed the edge of the wicker chair Bobby was in, and stood up. “While his body was still burning, I had to leave him and continue on with the hunt.”

I advanced on him driving him into the house, using whatever was around to keep my balance. “You don’t get to take fucking time off Samuel Winchester. Your God-damned father gave me a job to do before he died, and I need some help with it for fuck’s sake.” I felt a presence behind me. I knew it was Dean. I turned to face him, “And you.” I poked him in the chest with my finger, “You don’t get a break either. I promised John to help you fix the damn Impala. And I am going to need your help fixing the Charger properly. I was in such a hurry to get here I cheated my baby. She’s not even done, just drivable because I was in such a hurry.”

I made a grab for the doorframe to turn back to Sam, but I missed. I felt myself falling, but a set of strong arms caught me. He lowered me to the ground and I lost it. I just screamed out all of my frustration and tears right there on the floor in the doorway. I didn’t even know who was holding me. And frankly I didn’t care. All I knew was it wasn’t Caleb. I missed my big brother so badly.

Lemme know what you think,
Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 2c

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:28:17 GMT

Here's the next part.

Catch a Demon by the Tale 2c

I woke once again to the sounds of my cell phone. I looked at the caller ID, Winchester, J.

I opened the phone, “John?”

“Sorry to wake you Lisa, but I need to ask you a favor.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s One o’clock. I need you awake, Alisabeth. I have some things to talk to you about, and I don’t have much time.”

The softness in his voice brought me back to that first night I met him. He was trying to get me to cooperate without spooking me. I grabbed my notebook from my backpack next to the bed and tried to shake the cobwebs out of my brain.

“Go ahead, John, I’m as awake as I’m gonna be.”

“You know about the Colt, right?”

“Yeah, Samuel Colt made it the night the Alamo fell when Halley’s Comet was overhead. Nobody knows how he knew to make it, or why it worked, but it did. It was used half a dozen times before it disappeared. Elkins managed to track it down, and it’s been in your possession for the last few months.”

“Good girl.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Now, have you heard anything about other guns like the Colt?”

“Yeah, there has been a few references in more recent occult lore about John Browning being the next Samuel Colt. He was into the occult, like Colt, and I have come across a few rumors that the first prototype of the M1911 was created like Samuel’s Colt revolver for a hunter to take out a demon. But I have only heard a few rumors about it, and even Dan couldn’t track anything more down.”

“One of Caleb’s contacts in Ireland just called me this afternoon. He got a lead on Browning’s 1911. It’s as true as Colt’s. He also thinks he knows where to find the spell book that was used. If we could find the spell book-“

“We could make more.” I smiled, “Well, I could make more anyway. I don’t think many hunters were taught gunsmithing.”

He laughed, “You and Caleb were pretty much it as far as those skills go. And with Dan and Jim gone, you have also become chief researcher too.” His voice was still soft, but I could hear pride in it as well.

“Yeah, well if some people had taught their children skills other than just hunting and killing, there would be more people to help with these things.” I smiled, this had been a running joke between John and me ever since my accident.

“True.” He sighed, “I don’t have a lot of time Lisa. Do you think you can do it?”

“What, track down a weapon that was never made, and make a new gun from a spell book that doesn’t exist?” I laughed, “Piece of cake. I learned from the best.”

He laughed, “That you did sweetheart.” He sighed, “I’m sorry about Caleb. I never meant for anyone else to get in the middle of this.”

“I know. It wasn’t your fault, John. Your boys sent the demon responsible to hell and for that I’m grateful. If she crawls her way back out I’ll know about it. I had a contact of mine do a locator spell on her. If she pops up anywhere in the world the crystal will glow, and when I set it near a map it will tell me precisely where she is.” I stopped, I realized what he was getting at, and I was going to let him off the hook, “But for what it’s worth, John, I forgive you.”

“Thanks Lis. You always were a resourceful one.” He sighed.

“John? What’s wrong?” He was never quiet with me, come to think of it I hardly ever heard that man sigh either. I know with most people, including his own sons, he was terse. But he had never been like that with me. He told me once that I was easy to talk to, like Mary was. He said I remind him of her. So that could be why. I never asked, and he never offered.

“Can you do me one more favor?” He seemed timid, another trait foreign to John Winchester, drill Sergeant.

“Of course, John. What do you need?”

“Watch out for my boys.”

Alarm bells went off in my head. The items to summon a demon, making sure I can find another gun like the colt, apologizing. He was going to have a showdown with the yellow-eyed SOB. “Sure, John. I can try, but I’m not exactly an A-string hunter.”

“Just do what you do best, sweetheart. Do the research, supply the weapons, and help the boys fix up the car.”

“Yeah, Bobby thinks she’s a lost cause, but Sam just won’t give up.”

“He always was a stubborn one.”

I smiled, “You never could talk sense into him. Especially once he gets something into his head. Even if it’s dangerous and foolish. Just like his father.”

“You’ve got me there, Lisa.” He paused and his voice softened, “I have to go, see you when I see you, kiddo"

“You bet, John, I should be up there by dinnertime.”

“Take care, baby girl.”

“You too, old man.” I heard him laugh as he hung up the phone.

I looked at the clock. It was almost 2 a.m. I made sure the alarm was set for 6 and rolled over. I couldn’t get John out of my head though. What he said to me, how quiet he was. The fact that he was giving me a mission while his oldest son was dying. I was definitely going to give him a piece of my mind tomorrow.

*****
It didn’t take nearly as long as I thought to get things done at the garage. I still had some extensive bodywork to do, but my baby was at least drivable now. I was on the road by 9. I paid Greg handsomely for allowing me to invade, and putting off a few other projects to allow me to get out sooner. He gave me a hug and told me I was welcome back anytime to help him if I felt like it. I told him I would and took off.

I drove like a mad woman. It was 9am and I tried calling Sam, but it kicked straight into voicemail. I called John and even tried Dean phone, in case Sam had his possessions, and got the same response.

Calling the hospital, the nice woman at the switchboard told me I couldn’t be patched into the phone in an ICU room, but did tell me Dean was in Room 234, and ‘Elroy’ was in 238. I told her I was a family member and asked to be put on the approved list. Once I arrived and checked in, I would be issued a visitor pass and be allowed to see my “father” and “brother.”

I drove straight on through. There seemed to be a couple of noises coming from my baby I was going to have to address, but she wasn’t going to fall apart before I got her to Bobby’s for a complete overhaul.

It was noon before I finally reached the hospital where they were. It wasn’t very big, but it was really a very good hospital with a fabulous trauma department.

I wheeled myself into the main entrance and stopped at the check-in desk, and I was issued a visitor pass for my father and brother. She didn’t check the computer since she was the woman I spoke to a few hours before and knew who I was and who I was there for.

I thanked her and wheeled myself down to the elevators. It was actually kind of nice to be in a place that is designed for wheelchairs. The doorways are nice and wide, and the elevator buttons aren’t too high.

When the doors of the elevator opened on the second floor I didn’t see anyone in the halls. I was told I could just go straight into their rooms, so that’s what I planned to do.

I moved down the hall and stopped just outside John’s room. There was no name on the room, but it was 238, the room I was told he was in.

I moved in and the room was empty. There was evidence that someone had been in here, syringes and sterile packages on the floor, sheets ruffled on the bed, and a clipboard lying on the table. I moved over and picked it up, McGillicutty, Elroy. I opened the file and saw the front sheet, deceased, time: 10:41 a.m.

I just sat there looking at the words. Deceased. Dead. The indestructible John Winchester was dead.

I felt a hand on my arm; I grabbed it and twisted the person into my face. It was a woman, she had a nametag, and was wearing scrubs. She was a nurse. My brain caught up to my body and I let her go. “Sorry.”

“Are you all right, miss?” She rubbed her arm and backed away.

“Yeah.” I could feel the tears in my eyes. Suddenly I felt panic in my gut, I whispered, “Dean.”

I rolled past her and down the hall to where I was told Dean was. Again the room was empty. There was a ventilator in the corner and the sheets were ruffled again.

“Dean.” I burst into tears, I must have fallen out of my chair because the next thing I know strong arms were picking me up. I heard a woman’s voice, but couldn’t quite make out what she was saying. Sam. He has to be around here somewhere. “Where’s Sam?” I was in a total panic.

“Ms. McGillicutty, I need you to take a deep breath sweetie. Your brother Dean is ok. It was a miracle if I ever saw one. Sam took him home a few minutes ago.” She had a hand on my knee and was crouching in front of me.

I closed my eyes. Dean and Sam were ok. I could live with that. I took a deep breath and got myself under control.

“Are you all right now?” She said patting my leg once I was able to look up.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m sorry. I don’t usually lose it like that.” I tool another shaky breath. “Did my brothers make any arrangements for my father before they left?”

“No sweetie, they were in such a state of shock that they just up and left.” She stood up and motioned for the others to leave.

“How did he die?”

“We don’t know. He was missing for a while last night, and this morning he just collapsed. It seems his heart just stopped. We were going to do an autopsy, but your brothers didn’t sign the consent form. In fact they didn’t sign any forms except the discharge against medical advice form for Dean. Sam said someone would be by to take care of all that later.”

“Ok” the person to make the arrangements would be me. So be it. I could do this. “I need to make some calls. Who do I contact about the bod-I mean the remai-I mean my father?” I couldn’t think of him as a body, not yet. He was John Winchester, the legend.

She gave me the name of the person to contact, and led me to a quiet room I could use to make the calls from.

I called one of my contacts. He was a funeral home director here in Kansas City. I made arrangements for him to pick up John this afternoon. I could pick up the body from him this evening, and get it to Bobby’s by tonight.

I gave the contact at the hospital the information. I signed all the forms the boys didn’t get to before they left. I made sure to not authorize the autopsy. I cited religious reasons.

I had 6 hours or so to kill before I had to meet up with Cliff to retrieve John’s body. I needed to get a hold of Bobby or the boys.

I tried Sam and Dean’s cell phones, but neither one had them on. They didn’t even ring, just kicked straight into voicemail

I decided to call Bobby, but he wasn’t home either. I left messages for both boys and Bobby. I hoped that one of them would get a hold of me. I really hoped that Bobby had the boys right now. The thought of those boys out there alone, having just lost John, was frightening to me.

I went to a diner and got myself some lunch. I wasn’t even sure what I ate. I was just getting back into the car after paying when my phone went off. It was Sam’s cell.

“Hello?”

“Beth,”

“Bobby. Thank God. The boys with you?” I was relieved at the gruff voice on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, we just got back to my place.” He paused, “So you know about John.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

He moved right on, “Colt’s gone too.”

“I figured. He told me about Browning’s 1911 last night. Between knowing a reaper was after Dean, the stuff John had you get him, and his telling me about the 1911; I figured he was either going to have a showdown or trade himself.” I could hear the anger seeping into my voice. I didn’t want to be angry, but I was having trouble controlling it right now.

“Yeah, I figured that too.” He got quiet.

“But we’re not going to tell them.”

“Nope.”

“They will figure it out, but I am not going to be the one to tell Dean that his father traded his life, and his soul, for him. It would destroy that boy.”

“Yup.”

“I have made arrangements to get John’s body out of there. I will be able to pick it up from Cliff at the funeral home this evening. I was hoping that I could bring it there so the boys can give him a warrior’s burial.” My anger was turning to tears slowly. It was sinking in. They would burn John’s body tonight.

“Ok. I’ll let them know so they can get the pyre ready.”

“Thanks Bobby.”

“Sorry I didn’t call you Beth, but the boys are in bad shape. I needed to get them out of there. I knew you were on your way and would take care of things.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bobby. I should be there by nightfall. Make sure the boys are ready for this.”

“Will do.”

“Goodbye, Bobby.” I noticed my vision blurring; I needed to get him off the phone before I broke down.

“Beth.” He hung up the phone.

I threw the phone down onto the seat next to me and laid my head against the window. It had been a long week, and there was no end in sight for me.

Lemme know what you think,
Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 2b

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:26:55 GMT

Here's the next part.

Catch a Demon by the Tale 2b

Turns out Alexander had been missing for a few days. He was a student at the University of Minnesota. He was brought to the hospital to be checked out after his head trauma, and apparently his parents met him there. I gave him my cell phone number in case he ever needed it.

It was nearly midnight before I finally got settled into my motel room. I had tried to get my car at least fixed enough to drive to get to the boys, but there was no way I was getting out of here in the next two days. There was damage to the engine, the front axle, and the frame was bent. But I suppose going into the ditch and hitting a tree at 45 miles an hour is going to leave a mark.

I would have just rented a car to get to the boys, but even in big cities you can't rent a car with hand controls very easily, I asked at the garage, but no luck.

Greg, at the garage, is letting me do the work myself. When my baby was brought in, we had a long discussion about restoring classic cars, and he agreed that he would allow me to do most of the work myself, and he would give me the space.

It wasn't a problem of money, but the principal of the thing. I had restored her from a rust pile in my teens. She was my baby, and I was reluctant to allow anyone else to work on her. He agreed to help me out as I worked though. He understood I was in a hurry and needed to be moving again ASAP.

I collapsed onto the bed. I got lucky; this motel actually had a handicapped accessible room. A lot of them don't, so getting into the shower, and even through the bathroom door, can be a challenge.

I would shower in the morning; right now I had some calls to make.

Cold fear had been spreading through me all evening. I knew they were in over their head. I also knew that neither of those boys would be thinking straight because it was not only the demon that killed their mother, and Jessica, but their dad was in trouble.

When it comes to family, or revenge, Winchesters can get tunnel vision. Forget to take precautions, forget to be careful, and it always leads to people getting hurt.

I decided to try Bobby again. I hadn’t been able to get a hold of him yet.

"Beth." His voice was deep and gravely, he had been asleep.

"Bobby, thank God. Sorry to wake you, but I still can't get a hold of any of the Winchesters."

"I'm sure they're fine, girl. Stop worrying. They've been doing this a lot longer than you, kid," he yawned and I could hear rustling in the background.

"True, but you also know how careless Winchesters can get when family is involved. They're in over their heads with this whole demon thing, Bobby, and you know it."

He sighed, "Yeah, but there's nothing I can do about it at 1 in the morning." I heard the tell-tale sound of a beer bottle being opened. "How's your car?"

"Changing the subject on me? Fine, Bobby, I'll play. Front axle is bent to hell, engine block's cracked, and the frame is bent pretty badly. It's going to take a few days work to get her moving again. I found a mechanic that's willing to give me space and parts to fix her up."

Bobby sighed, "I'm sorry darlin' I know how much you love that car."

"It'll be good as new again. I'm just going to try for drivable, to get up to your place." I heard a quiver in my voice. I hadn't told him about my run in with the demon yet.

"Somethin' happen?" I heard concern in his voice. It was touching.

I sighed, and decided to tell him, "Yeah, had a run in with a demon. Little brother of the one that killed Caleb, and coincidentally son of the son-of-a-bitch that is after the Winchesters."

Bobby said nothing, so I went on, "He was the reason I crashed, he was in the middle of the road, and I lost control. Turns out he was sent to possess me."

I heard Bobby laugh, "Tough feat with those tattoos you and Caleb got."

"Yup, he noticed that. He decided I needed to be killed instead. I waited until he was near me, and used a Druidic rite to get him out of the guy he was possessing. Not sure where he is now, but chances are he's going to be after me."

"Dangerous choice girl. What makes you say that he’s going to be comin’ back for ya?"

"He said I was as much a part of the plan as young Samuel. I had my uses to his father, and all would be revealed in time. There was the usual demon posturing, and such. But he was sent to slow me down, possess me, and if necessary, kill me."

"Sounds like you're up to your neck in Winchester shit."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "Yeah. My life has been so dull recently, I needed a little excitement to get through the day." I let the sarcasm drip from my voice.

He laughed. "That's the spirit. Let me know if I can send anything down to help ya with the Charger."

"Thanks, Bobby, but I think I have it covered. If you talk to John or the boys, have them call me please? I was supposed to be helping them right now, and I feel bad that I got detained."

"Sure thing. Get some sleep. I have a bad feeling neither of us is going to get much in the coming weeks."

"You too, Bobby. And thanks." I smiled.

He hung up the phone with a grunt. What was it with these men and their fear of emotions? Hunters seem to be worse than most. A simple 'be careful' or 'I love you' once in a while seems to be too much to ask.

I set the alarm for 7 a.m. I needed to get an early start on the car if I was going to finish in time to help the boys.

*****
I awoke with a start. I had been dreaming. I know it was about demons and the Winchesters, but other than that I wasn't sure what had happened.

The alarm was blaring so I shut it off. I got into my chair and made it to the shower.

I got ready for the day and headed out to Greg's garage.

My dream nagged me all day. I didn't remember it, but I knew it meant something. Every few hours I would call the Winchesters, but nothing. By noon, I called Bobby, but he didn't seem to be home at this point either.

I worked straight though the day. Greg helped me on some of the more difficult things, and by nightfall we had made huge amounts of progress, but it was still going to be a few days until I could get out of here.

I still hadn't heard from the Winchesters by evening, so I tried calling Ellen at the Roadhouse. I know she and John had a falling out years ago, and he never took his boys there, but she had her ear to the ground on a lot of things. She hadn't heard anything specific, but knew something big was going down. I thanked her for the info, and told her I would probably be dropping by soonish. She told me I was welcome any time, and that she was sorry to hear about Jim and Caleb.

I thanked her, and hung up.

I was trying my damndest to push Caleb to the back of my mind, but it just wasn't working. All day thoughts and memories threatened to overwhelm me. Working on the car with him, hunting with him, even when Alexander carried me to my car I had thoughts of him.

I grabbed dinner at the diner across from the garage and headed back to the motel. If nobody was going to answer my calls, I would just try and get some sleep. Hopefully I could get to the bottom of all of this in the morning.

I sat down and wrote everything down in my journal before bed. The encounter with the demon, Caleb and Jim, and even what I knew about John and the yellow-eyed demon.

After I did that, I leafed through Jim's journal looking for info on the Winchester’s personal demon. I didn't find much unfortunately. John was a pretty private person, especially when it came to his own crusade. So it didn't surprise me that Jim wouldn't have anything more than Caleb and I.

I put Jim's journal down and decided to turn in. It was 10 at night and I needed to get an early start tomorrow.

I set the alarm for 6 and turned out the light.

*****
I was woken up by the sound of my cell phone.

I found it on the bed and opened it, “Hello” I croaked.

“Beth.” I immediately recognized the sound of Bobby’s voice.

“Bobby, what’s wrong?” I looked at the clock, it was 5:55am.

“It’s the Winchesters.” My heart sank. “Sammy called me. They had some kind of car accident. They’re at a hospital in Kansas City. I’m on my way to retrieve the Impala before the cops find the trunk.”

“Charger’s not done yet. It’m still going to be a few days.”

“It’s ok, girl. Nothing you can do anyway. I’ll call you when I know more. Right now Sam’s awake, and is going to be released later today, but he wouldn’t say anything about Dean and John, other than they are alive. The kid seems pretty shaken up.”

“Understandable. Thanks for the update. I’ll try and push the repairs so hopefully I can join you by tomorrow night. We still have a lot of work to do before I can even think about driving her.” I couldn’t wrap my brain around what he was telling me.

“I could come and get you, bring you with me to help.”

“No, they need you more than I do right now. I’ll be along as soon as I can.” I closed my eyes and tried to think through the blanket that seemed to have taken up residence inside my brain. “Keep me posted?”

“Of course. Take care.”

“You too Bobby.”

I closed my phone and sighed, no rest for the wicked.

I got ready for what I knew was going to be a very long day.

*****
I tossed my phone on the nightstand and flopped down onto the bed. It was nearly midnight, but the Charger would be ready to roll by noon. I called Bobby and he told me about Dean’s condition. I knew I had to hurry if I wanted to see him before he died. The doctors don’t have much hope for a recovery, and Sam wasn’t taking it well. Bobby seemed to think I can help somehow, but I had no idea what I can do that they haven’t already.

I had worked all day with no breaks. Greg ordered in a pizza and got me to sit long enough to manage one slice. Then I got back to work. I needed to get out of there and up to Bobby and the Winchesters as soon as possible.

I needed an update on the boys before I could sleep though, so I picked up the phone and called Sam.

“Hi Lisa.”

“Hi Sam. How’re ya holding up?” I could hear his voice was thick. Either he had been sleeping or crying.

“Not good. Dean’s around.”

“He’s awake? That’s great man-“

“No.” He interrupted. “He’s a spirit, and he’s hunting a reaper.”

Shit. You don’t hunt a reaper, they hunt you. If it’s there for him, then there’s nothing any of us could do except let him know we care and send him off to heaven. “You sure?”

“Yeah, figured out a way to talk to him.”

I smirked, good ol’ Sammy. “Spirit board?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, “but I can’t figure out how to kill it.”

“You don’t kill death, Sam. Sometimes you just have to accept it.” I could hear my own voice hitch as I spoke. He was silent on the other end. “I should be there by tomorrow afternoon, man. You gonna be ok until then?”

“Yeah.”

“Where’s John?” I asked as softly and gently as I could.

“Don’t know. He’s not in his room.” I heard the anger edge into Sam’s voice. He always was like John, had to be in control and have things his way. “He had Bobby get him some things that are used to summon a demon.”

“You think he would summon the damn thing to the hospital with all three of you hurt? With Dean dying?” Why would John need summoning items? Unless he was planning on making a deal. I closed my eyes and thought, “John Winchester, if you do what I think you are going to do I am going to drag your ass back from hell myself just so I can kick you all the way back there.”

“I don’t know. The Colt only has one bullet left, and I don’t know what he’s thinking. But of course Dad never tells us what he’s thinking, he just does it.”

“Breathe, Sam.” I used my mom voice. It always worked on witnesses, small children, and hunters. Calms them right down. “It’s no use getting mad at your father now. You need to stay calm and focused on Dean. He needs you right now more than John.”

“I know.” He sighed, but seemed calmer, mom voice wins again. “I just wish he was here with Dean, rather than off doing whatever the hell he thinks he’s doing.”

“I know Sam.” I heard the kid yawn. A good sign. I just might be able to get some sleep tonight, if I can convince Sammy to sleep. “Sounds like you need some sleep, bud. Bobby said you are concussed and have a nasty shiner. You need your rest if you’re going to keep Dean safe.”

“Yeah. They brought a comfortable chair into his room so I could sleep.”

“Smart move.” I smiled, he really did sound sleepy. “I’ve been working on the Charger for two days, and I should have her done by tomorrow. I can be up there by tomorrow evening.”

“How is your baby?” I heard the squeak of vinyl. He was settling down.

“She’s probably in better shape than Dean’s. I only hit a tree, not a semi.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty much toast, but as long as there’s one working part we’re not going to give up on-“ He stopped.

“I know, Sam. I’m not giving up either, so there’s at least two of us in this fight.” I paused for a second, “What name are you guys listed under?” I knew John was the master at fraud and would never use their real names if he could get away with it.

“Elroy McGillicutty and his two sons Dean and Sam.”

I laughed, “At least you two get to keep your names.”

“Yeah, but McGillicutty? Dad must be scraping the bottom of the barrel for names at this point.”

“Yeah. I’ll be there tomorrow, hang in there, ok sweetie?”

“Yeah. Goodnight, Lisa.”

“Goodnight, Sam.”

I hung up.

So, my future is going to consist of helping heal John and Sam when they lose Dean and fixing not only my Charger, but also the Impala. Sam would never let his brother’s car go, especially if Dean doesn’t make it. And with a reaper on his tail, the chances of Dean making it are mighty slim. It would take a miracle or a deal with a demon. But not even John is that stupid. He’s got another plan up his sleeve. And I am going to find out just what the hell he’s thinking tomorrow.

I set my phone on the nightstand and curled up on the bed. I decided I was going to pray for the Winchesters. They were going to need all the help they could get.

Lemme know what you think,
Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 2a

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:24:58 GMT

Here's the first part of "Chapter" 2

Catch a Demon by the Tale 2a

Title: Catch a Demon by the Tale Part 2
Author: Lady Starhawk
Beta: Mandy, plot assistance from Megg
Rating: PG-13 for violence, language, and subject matter
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Devil’s Trap and into Season 2

I didn’t really wake up, as much as I slowly became aware of my surroundings. The first thing I noticed, I wasn’t driving. There was a dull ache in my shoulders, and a sharp pain above my left eye. I took a deep breath, and regretted that. A sharp pain made itself known in my left side. Ribs, bruised, or cracked, but not completely broken.

Cracking my eyes open to see where I was, I realized I was in a barn. It was old, and not well cared for. Sunlight streamed through holes in the walls and the roof. I was tied to a chair in the middle of the floor. My wheelchair was nowhere to be found. I tried the ropes that had my hands tied, but whoever tied them had known what they were doing. There was no play in them at all.

I took stock of my body as best as I could. My arms were behind the chair, which would explain the ache in my shoulders. My fingers worked, and I didn’t have any pain in my abdomen. I could see clearly, and I wasn’t dizzy, so probably it was just a mild concussion. The ribs would be a problem, but nothing I hadn’t lived through before. I looked down and surveyed my legs. I didn’t see anything wrong, but until I got loose for a closer inspection, I wouldn’t know if I had any major injury. There wasn’t a pool of blood under the chair, and my jeans were still blue, which meant I was not actively bleeding, so I guess that was something.

I thought back to the last thing I remembered. I had the ragtop down, and had just finished changing the CD in the player. I remember a man crossing the highway; I don’t think he made it across. Hitting the brakes, I swerved to avoid hitting him. I remember the brakes locked up, and I ended up losing control of the car. I was headed for the ditch, but recall nothing after that.

The boys would be at Bobby’s by now and the demon that killed Caleb and Jim would be right behind them. Bobby would know what to do, but I don’t think he has the incantation to destroy a demon, just banish one. I kept the rites to destroy them in my journal. It was big time stuff, not to be tried by anyone who doesn’t know how to channel the power it requires.

My senses snapped back to attention when I heard a door creak open and shut quietly.

“Hello?” I called out.

I heard someone walking up behind me. The temperature in the barn dropped a little as I felt a presence very close to me. I couldn’t turn around, but I could hear someone breathing behind me.

“Who are you?” I needed to keep my cool.

“No one of consequence Ms. Grage.” I saw a young man step into my field of vision. I recognized him as the man that ran me off the road. He was young but handsome. His tall sturdy frame was topped by long, blonde hair. If I had to guess I’d say he played on the local college football team, he seemed the type. I looked up at his face, and noticed his eyes. They were black. Possessed. It was starting to make sense.

“What do you want?” I had to tread carefully. I had the rites to banish a demon memorized. I had even written a paper in college about the different exorcism rites around the world, and had committed many to memory. Most of them required objects to make them work. Herbs, blood, holy water, crosses, or knives were among the most common items needed.

“I wanted to take you, but I noticed you have the most peculiar tattoo.” I smirked. Caleb and I got matching tattoos after our first hunt. A friend of mine did them using Holy water in the ink mix. They were of an ancient Celtic protection rune. When placed directly over the heart, it kept the soul clean. Meaning that the person could not be possessed. It was nice to know all that pain I went through was worth it.

“Yeah, sorry about that. You see I have this little issue of having to be in control of my own body.”

“Pity. I could fix you. Make you useful once again.” He touched my legs as he pulled a chair in front of me and sat down.

“I’m plenty useful, pal. Now why don’t you tell me what this is all about?” I wanted to know what I was in for.

“I have been charged with taking care of you.” He smiled, but it made my blood run cold.

“That’s ok, man, I can take care of myself.”

“No, I don’t think you understand. I was instructed to possess you, detain you, and if it became absolutely necessary, kill you.” He pulled a knife from his boot.

“Why me? What did I ever do to you?” I wasn’t sure who this demon was, but he definitely wasn’t the one who had killed Caleb.

“You’re not part of the plan. Father has plans for the Winchesters, and you need to stay out of it.”

“What kind of plans?” I was hoping that this demon hadn’t seen too many Bond movies, and would get a little monologuey for me. I was really hoping he would go over the whole plan for me.

“He has special plans for young Samuel. And father doesn’t want you to get in the way. Samuel is too important to allow anyone to interfere right now. Besides, Father has mentioned plans for you too, Alisabeth. My sister was sent to begin taking out the Winchesters allies, to force John out into the open. I was sent to take control of you.” He grinned in a predatory way, which made my entire body shiver.

“Why me?” I squirmed starting to get a little scared. It was possible for this demon to destroy the tattoo and take me anyway, if he was powerful enough, or knew how.

“You have so much knowledge. Knowledge that Father will be using, once I figure out how to get past that pesky rune.” He touched my chest with the knife, and got a distant look in his eye. He appeared to be thinking hard.

“You can’t. It’s embedded into the skin. Not only was the rune made with ink and holy water, but also scar tissue. It’s not possible to remove it, or deform it.” I racked my brain to find an exorcism that would work on this guy with no hand gestures, and no supplies.

“Watch me.” He stood and kicked the chair out of the way.

There was an ancient Druidic cleansing chant that could be used as an exorcism rite, although it can be quite dangerous if the demon is too powerful, it was the only thing I could think of. It might not be perfect, but I thought it would work well enough. No destruction of the soul, but it would get him out of this guy at least long enough to get back to the car.

He moved around the backside of the chair and moved towards me. That was the moment I was waiting for, I started the chant. He twitched but continued to advance. I closed my eyes and continued with the words. It would work faster if I had my arms free or some herbs, but you have to do the best with what you have.

I felt the knife cut into my skin, but he was shaking badly. He screamed as I continued to speak the words.

Just as I felt him start to exert pressure on the knife I heard a horrible, inhuman scream. I opened my eyes and saw the black mist explode from the young man before me. It broke into a million pieces and scattered to the wind.

I dropped my head to my chest and took a deep breath. Once I could keep my body from shaking I opened my eyes and looked for the young man. He was lying unconscious on the ground beside me.

I decided to just wait for him to come to. I couldn’t get my arms free, and I couldn’t risk hurting myself if I tipped over. I felt blood trickle down my neck, but there was nothing I could do until the guy woke up.

*****
I startled awake. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but ancient rituals, cracked ribs, and head injuries have a tendency to make a girl sleepy. I kept still and tried to figure out what had awoken me.

I looked down and the young man seemed to be awake. He was looking around with a confused expression on his face.

“Hi.” As soon as I spoke he looked at me.

“Um, hi.” He sat up and shook his head, as if he were clearing the cobwebs out.

“I’m Lisa. And I am sure that you are really confused as to what is going on, and if you could untie me I will give you some answers.” I made sure to smile while speaking slowly and softly.

I have seen many people post-possession, and they are usually frightened. Using my “mom” voice tends to keep them calm and submissive, at least until I tell them what just happened.

“Oh, yeah.” He got up and grabbed the knife, the one that still had my blood on it. “I’m Alexander Sullivan.” He carefully cut the ropes on my hands, and knelt down to cut the ones on my legs as well.

“Be careful down there, if you cut me I won’t know it.” He froze, and looked at me with a frightened, questioning look in his eyes. “I’m a paraplegic. No feeling in my legs.”

“I’ll be careful, miss.” And he was. He cut along the metal of the chair so he wouldn’t cut me. When I was free, he gently moved my legs into a more natural position.

“Thank you, Alexander.” I moved my hands in front of me and started trying to get circulation moving through my arms again. “I’ve been tied to that chair most of the day from what I can tell.”

He sat down on the floor and looked up at me. I was reminded of a kindergartner at story time.

“I suppose you want to know what happened?”

He nodded.

“What was the last thing you remember?”

He thought for a second. “We had just finished a game in Lincoln. I was helping load the gear back onto the bus. Then, I woke up here.”

“Okay.” How to go through the ‘the truth is out there’ speech? I needed his help to get back to my car, and I needed him to believe me. “Do you believe in demons?”

He nodded, “God, Angels, Demons. They’re all real.”

I smiled, that was half the battle right there. “Okay, so I am going to guess that you’ve heard of demonic possession.”

His eyes got wide, “Is that what happened to me?”

“Yes. There are demons out there that want to harm my friends and me. In fact, a demon killed my brother last night, and my teacher yesterday morning. What was inside of you was one of these things. He was supposed to kill me. But I’m smarter than I look.” He smiled at that, “And I was able to banish him from your body before he could kill me.”

“Okay, so let me get this straight.” He stood.

I think this one is going to be able to handle it. A few people I have talked to post-possession go crazy, deny it, or run away. But sometimes they are able to handle it, and even become helpful allies.

“Demons are real. And I had one controlling me.”

I smiled. I liked this kid. “Yup. It made you run me off the road, and I woke up here. Judging by the injuries I have, it’s likely that my car was damaged in the wreck.”

“I guess we should get back to your car. See what kind of shape it’s in.” He stood and moved towards me.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to pick you up and take you back to your car. Since I carried you here, chances are good that I can carry you back.” He smirked, “Don’t worry, miss, you’re not my type.”

I laughed at that, “I bet you prefer blondes then?”

He laughed, “Yeah, how did you know?” He moved in behind me and gently picked me up.

I covered up the whimper of pain with a joke, “Gentlemen always prefer blondes.” I winked as he lifted me off of the seat. He jarred my ribs, but there was no helping that.

“That’s true” He carried me out of the barn.

*****
“There it is.”

It was quite a trek to get to the road. And I didn’t know which way we would need to go once we got there.

Fortunately for us my car was right at the bottom of the driveway. Unfortunately, she had seen better days.

As soon as I saw my baby I let out a whimper I couldn’t suppress this time.

“You ok? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He gently set me down on the trunk of my car.

“No, but my baby. She’s…” I couldn’t speak. She was a mess. I must have hit the tree going at least 45. There were huge streaks of rubber from her tires on the road leading to the ditch. Frame bent, front axle probably shot, lots of body damage, and that’s not even counting the engine.

“Gosh, I’m sorry about this.” I looked into his face and could see guilt and pain there.

“It’s not your fault, Alex. It was the thing inside you. You had nothing to do with this; you’re the victim here hon.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Could you get my chair out of the back seat?” I felt the need to be mobile again. “And see if my purse is in there somewhere.”

“Got it.” He pulled my chair from the wreckage. “Doesn’t look damaged at all.” He opened it and set it beside the car. He moved to help me into it, but I stopped him.

“It’s ok, Alex, I got it.” I winked at him and slid into the chair. “But thanks. Any sign of my purse? I need to call a tow.”

He went back into the car, and I punched the code for the locks on the trunk. I needed to be sure everything was still okay in there. The trunk popped open and revealed my stash. I kept pictures all over the compartment. Caleb, Jim, John, Daniel, and the boys all stared back at me. A few other friends were there too. Some were faces of people who were alive; most were not.

It wasn’t as organized as John’s truck, nor was it as extensive as the boys’ but Caleb made sure I had everything I could need, and a few things I hoped I never would. I fingered the box near the edge of the compartment. I knew it contained 6 grenades. 2 Phosphorous, 2 Fragmentation, and 2 flash-bangs were concealed inside. The grenades were a gift from one of his suppliers.

I closed the secret stash and revealed the normal trunk. My suitcase was in there, as was my roadside emergency kit. I pulled out some of the road flares.

“Found it.” Alex said, “It was under the seat.” He handed me my purse. He then shuffled his feet, like he was unsure what to do next.

“Here, set these up ahead and behind the car. It’ll advertise our whereabouts to other drivers so we don’t get hit.” I handed him 3 road flares.

I grabbed my cell phone from the purse and saw I had 3 messages. Two were from Dean, one was from Bobby.

I decided calling 911 was the best option. Get a tow, maybe get Alex and myself looked at by a medic, and get him home. I spoke to the operator and explained what happened. When I hung up, I gave Alex our cover story. He took it well.

“So you swerved to avoid hitting me. I was delirious and didn’t know where I was, which is the truth. I came to a little bit ago with no memory of what happened.”

“Right. I’ll fill in the rest of the blanks as needed. Always stay as close to the truth as possible. It’s rule number one when lying.” I smiled. “Now I have some messages I need to listen to, I think I have some munchies in the duffel bag in the backseat, and some pop in the cooler. Help yourself.”

I hit the numbers to listen to my messages.

“Hi Lisa, it’s Dean. We got to Bobby’s and it’s mid-morning. We expected you to be here by now. Meg hasn’t shown up yet, but we’re pretty sure it’s only a matter of time. If you want a piece of her, you need to hurry. We’re hoping to find out where they have Dad before we remove the demon. Call me when you get this”

Message two was an hour later, “Hi Lisa, Dean again. We sent the demon back to hell. Turns out they are holding Dad in Jefferson City, Missouri. We’ll be heading out in a few minutes. We sent the demon back to hell, but the girl who was possessed didn’t make it. We’ve got the Colt and we’re headed out to find Dad. Call me when you get this. We could really use your help right now Lis.”

I was a little mad that they didn't wait for me, I would have destroyed her soul and scattered it to the four winds. It was the most painful thing I could think to do to her. But I was glad that she wasn't going to be dogging our steps as the boys went after their father.

The third message was a few minutes ago, “Beth, it’s Bobby. I haven’t heard from the boys since they left here. It’s been about 6 hours since I saw them last, they should have gotten to John by now. Of course you should be here by now too. Call me when you get this. Something big is going down.”

I saved all 3 messages and closed the phone. “Shit” Alex turned to look at me and I waved my hand. “Nothing, just bad news on the demon front. The friends I was going to meet have disappeared. Chances are the demons have something to do with it.”

I saw the flashing lights and heard the sirens a few seconds later.

Lemme know what you think,
Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 1g final

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:44:17 GMT

Here's the last part.

Catch a Demon by the Tale 1g

I drove as fast as I thought I could get away with. I made a four-hour trip in just under three.

While I was driving, I had one call to make. Regina, my roommate from college was a practicing witch. I’m talking actual spells, astral plane, turn-you-into-a-newt witch. I had helped her a few times with various people trying to kill her, including a demon and a group of hunters. She told me at graduation that if I ever needed anything, I just had to call. I knew she could do locator spells, and I was pretty sure she could pull off what I needed her to do. Find the demon that killed my brother and my mentor. I left a message telling the bare bones of what I needed, and put the phone in my pocket. She’d get back to me soon.

I pulled into the driveway shortly after midnight. There were no lights on when I got there. I shifted into my chair and made sure I had all the weapons I needed. Entering through the front door, I noticed that the house was spotless. Nothing was moved or out-of-sorts. I turned on lights, but nothing still seemed out of the ordinary yet.

The basement door was open. Caleb would never have left it open unless he was in the basement. That was where we kept the weapons locker. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I smelled sulfur. Just like this morning. My hands started to shake and I felt physically ill. The sulfur was the first clue that the boys were telling me the truth. I didn’t want to go downstairs, but I knew I was going to have to.

I headed to the side of the house and the elevator. A few years ago Caleb had gotten an elevator installed in the house. It was an expense that we got the government to pay for. I am still not sure exactly how and I didn’t really want to know. It made my life so much easier. It also made hauling books and weapons around much easier as well.

I hit the button for the basement and drew my gun. I was sure the house was empty; the demon was supposed to be meeting with John right now, but I couldn’t be sure.

The doors opened and the sight before me would give me nightmares for decades. Caleb was in the middle of the floor by the stairs. He was tied to a chair and his front was covered in blood. The blood on the floor was meandering towards the drain in the corner.

The boys had been right. I rolled forward towards my big brother.

A small bloody knife was on the ground next to him. I picked it up, wrapped it in a cloth, and put it into my backpack with the one that had killed Jim. This one had sulfur residue on it as well. Hopefully Regina could use them to track the demon for me.

I cut Caleb out of the chair, closed his eyes, and made sure everything was out of his pockets. I set his keys on the nearby workbench and slid his lighter into my pocket. I then wrapped him in a sheet. The blood on the floor was nearly dry by now. It could just have been brown paint if I didn’t know any better.

I tied his body onto an old snow sled we had in the corner. I remembered the last time I used it. I was 8 and Caleb woke me up early to hand me my snow clothes. We went out back and played outside until I thought my nose was going to fall off. He taught me how to build a fort and how to steer a sled. It was one of the best days I ever had. I’ll never forget his arms around me as we flew down the hill at the back of the property. The hill is now used as a stop for the shooting range, but it also made the perfect sledding hill. Open. Steep.

I noticed water dripping on my hands as I worked. I looked at the ceiling, but it was dry. I realized I was crying. I shook the tears off my hands and went back to work.

I tied his body to the sled and managed to pull it over to the elevator. He wasn’t a really big guy, and when there’s no blood left in your body, there’s a surprising difference in weight.

We had a bonfire pit set up in the yard. There was even a sidewalk that led to the pit. That way I could get out to it year round. Caleb always kept a large stack of dried firewood nearby. I wanted to build a pyre, but I knew I could never get his up body on it. I set out a layer of wood, and then rolled him onto it. I went back to the house to get my journal, the can of rock salt, and the lighter fluid we used for bodies. It was a special mix of diesel fuel, kerosene, and alcohol. Nasty stuff, but it would start near anything on fire, and burn hot and fast.

I slipped from my chair and sat in the grass on the edge of the firepit. I started reading an incantation. It was a rite to release the spirit to the angels and guide it to heaven. It was also a cleansing ritual to prevent anything from stealing the soul on its journey. I knew it was overkill to be saying these words, but I needed to make sure my stubborn brother actually WENT to heaven, rather than stay here to try to take care of me.

I pulled the lighter out of my pocket; it was engraved the date of our parent’s death. He always used it, and was never without it. I felt it only fitting that it was what I used to burn him. I was about to flick the flame on when I felt a hand on my arm. The presence, exuding the scent of leather and gun oil, was calm and gentle. It could only be Caleb.

"I’m sorry." I said as I flicked the lighter and threw it on the pyre to burn with him. The presence faded as the fire grew. I sat and watched him burn as I let myself break down fully. I had always known I was going to have to burn my brother one of these days, I had just hoped that I wouldn’t be alone when I had to do it.

My mind wandered as my brother burned. I didn’t think about anything special, I just let the memories of the past flow over me.

It took nearly three hours for the fire to completely burn down to nothing but ash. I left the smoldering pile. The sun wouldn’t rise for at least an hour yet, and I had other things to take care of.

I went back to the basement and covered the bloody spot with a tarp. I didn’t have time for cleaning right now. I had to find the bitch and make sure she didn’t kill any one else.

I grabbed what I thought I would need. Weapons. Protection. Caleb’s journal. My journal. I loaded it all up into a duffel bag. I went to my bedroom and did the same thing with clothing and other essentials. I grabbed my stack of credit cards, as well as Caleb’s. I didn’t know how long I was going to be gone, so I needed to be prepared for the long haul. I loaded up my car and grabbed the duffel that I brought back from Minnesota.

Taking the duffel of stuff from Jim and Dan’s homes, I secured it in the vault. It was hallowed ground and the best place to keep dangerous items. I kept their journals out though. You never knew when they would come in handy.

I sat down in the kitchen and made another round of calls. I managed to get hold of Joshua and let him know what was going on. He agreed to take precautions and notify others that there might be a demonic serial killer on the loose with a taste for hunters.

I started to clean out the fridge. I wasn’t sure how long it would be before I was back, and I didn’t want to have to clean up a civilization of mold in there when I returned. I poured myself a glass of milk and was starting to dump the leftovers into the garbage disposal when I felt it.

It was subtle at first. The hair on the back of my neck started to prickle. The hair on my arms stood up next. There was a charge in the air, and I made sure to stop moving and wait for her entrance.

Suddenly I heard what sounded almost like a gunshot, but I knew was a portal opening up in astral space to allow Regina to come through. There wasn’t any wind like there is in a lot of movies, just a wacky electrical thing that’s similar to the effect of demons and spirits.

A woman stepped through. She was wearing pajamas and slippers, and she had a backpack with her. Her long blonde hair flowed around her face and her glowing blue eyes.

"Hi Gina." I said moving out of the way to let her clear the portal.

"Hi Lisa. I came as fast as I could." She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

"Thanks, babe. I took care of his body, but the rest of the area is clear, and I have the weapons used in both deaths. They have sulfur residue on them." I took the bundles out of my pack and handed them to her. "I was hoping you could ID the demon and get me a location so I can track the bitch."

She took the baggy from me and sat at the table. "Are you sure the same thing killed them both?" She took a cloth out of her pack and laid it out on the table.

"Yup. John Winchester was on the phone with her when Caleb was murdered. She admitted to killing Jim before killing Caleb."

She was arranging candles on the table, so I decided to fill in the rest of the story, "Jim was attacked on hallowed ground. I know he has all the proper precautions in place at the church. And Caleb kept this place damn near demon-proof all of the time. There is no way a demon could have gotten in here unless it was extremely powerful."

"Wow. What have you gotten into darlin’?" She shook her head as she pulled out some crystals and incense. "Ok, what I’m going to do is a spell that will not only identify the demon but locate it too. No matter who it’s inhabiting or where they are, this will find them. It’s a permanent spell, but if the demon leaves this dimension it will stop working. However, as soon as it comes back to this realm, the spell will turn back on."

"I’ll leave you to it then, Gina." I knew she didn’t like to be watched while she was spellcasting. Some witches didn’t care, but even though we were best friends, she was still a little leery of using powerful magics in front of a hunter.

"Thanks. Why don’t you get some sleep? You look beat."

"Not sure I can, but I’ll try."

I must have fallen asleep because I woke to the sound of my phone. It was still dark outside. I looked at the ID and it said Winchester, S.

I opened it up and answered. "Sam?"

"Alisabeth?" I heard a tentative voice in my ear.

"Thank God." I sighed, "You guys ok?"

"The demon got away."

"I’m so sorry, Sam." I knew Sam thought that he was going to fix everything last night. But the emotion in his voice was heavier than just a simple defeat; it was utter devastation. "What else happened?"

"It’s Meg, she has Dad."

"Son-of-a-bitch" I whispered under my breath. I had hoped the boys could take care of their demon, and John could take care of mine.

I felt energy flowing through the house. Regina was close to finishing her spell.

"Can I call you back in a few minutes? I have a friend working on locating her."

"Sure. We’re packing up and getting out of Salvation right now."

"Ok, it’ll just be a few minutes."

I hung up and waited for the energy to dissipate. I then moved into the kitchen to check on Gina.

"Everything ok in here?" I asked; she looked tired, but I knew it was a powerful spell she had just done for me.

"Yeah, get me a map would you?" She was holding a crystal on a string. I grabbed my atlas from the counter and opened it up to the map of the Midwest. "Thanks. Now this works like a GPS. The crystal will glow whenever the demon is in our dimension. It will also pinpoint the exact location of the demon."

She dangled the crystal over the map and it stopped just east of Lincoln. It was moving slowly across the map towards where I knew the boys were.

"Thanks Gina." I kissed her on the cheek. "Feel free to stay here as long as you want, just lock up when you’re done."

"Thanks, girl. I don’t think I could get back today even if I wanted to. Two big spells in one night will tax a girl." She smiled and started packing away her things. "Be careful. It took some serious mojo to get that to work. Whatever you’re mixed up in is some powerful shit."

"I know. But I have to do this. Caleb and Jim would have done the same for me. And I know the Winchesters are working this from their end."

"Go. Call Sam back. Keep those boys safe. They are going to be extremely important to the future balance of power. I’m not sure what’s on the horizon, but it’s not good. They have a part to play. A major part. We need to figure out how to work together to fix this." I smiled, Gina was a bit of a hippie and had dreams of one day openly helping hunters and not getting attacked for it.

I have the same dream. When we can work with witches and psychics to battle the true evil, instead of treating them like the things we’re supposed to be hunting, then we may be able to defeat the real enemy.

"Thanks, babe." I moved out of the kitchen and back to the living room to call Sam back.

"Lisa?" Dean answered, and he sounded exasperated and desperate. He and Sam must have been fighting. I heard the growl of the Impala in the background.

"Yeah, where’s Sam?" I was a little worried, I had just talked to the youngest Winchester, he knew I was going to call back.

"Driving."

"Got it. Did he fill you in on what I’ve got going on here?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I got the locator spell and she’s just east of Lincoln moving towards Iowa. She’s probably got a way to track you, so you need to be careful."

"Thanks Lis." He was terse. Now Dean’s not a big talker, but he’s usually a little more forthcoming than this.

"What’s the plan, Dean?" If I pushed, I could maybe get him to open up and eventually take my offer of help.

"I don’t know." His voice was weak and soft. To have him admit that was heart wrenching to me.

"I have an idea; I’ll give Bobby a call and give him the heads up. I want you boys to head there. He’s the best person to be with when a demon is trailing you. He’s got exorcising spells and defenses set up. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can."

"No. I don’t want you involved in this." He growled at me. Now I knew he had a protective streak, but I had never really fallen under it before. It would have been touching if it hadn’t stomped on my last nerve.

"As soon as Caleb’s throat was slit open, I got involved Dean. Deal with it." I heard him sigh. Good. He remembered how stubborn I could be. "Don’t sweat it, I can’t do field work anyway. I’m just coming as research girl. This thing was on hallowed ground. I need to figure out how. You’re going to do the footwork on this one."

I heard him chuckle, "Yeah, demons don’t exactly stick to wheelchair accessible areas."

"I would hate to be foiled by a curb." It was childish, but at least he was playing with me. Not all was lost.

"One nail in the road and you’re toast. Can’t stop a pursuit to change a tire."

I had to laugh at that. "True. Head to Bobby’s; he’ll be able to help. You remember how to get there?"

"Yeah." That flat voice was back.

"I’ll try and get there before she does, but she has a little bit of a head start on me. I’ll keep you posted on her progress, but I have a feeling as soon as you change directions she’ll change too." I laid the atlas out on the seat and let the necklace do its thing.

"Got it. And Lisa?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"You too. Tell Sammy we’re going to get him back."

"Will do."

I shut the phone and turned the car towards Bobby’s place. Then I called the old man. Hopefully he already knew what was going on, and still had that Key of Solomon on his ceiling.

Let me know what you think.
Lady Starhawk

SPN Fic: Catch 1f

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:42:06 GMT

Here's the next part.

Catch a Demon by the Tale 1f

My cell phone started ringing and yanked me from my memories. My cup of tea was cold, and the sun was going down.

It was Sam Winchester’s number; I managed to answer it by the third ring.

"Hi Sammy, long time no speak." I couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice.

"Hey Lisa. Where are you?" His voice was thick and deep, laced with emotion. I had always been able to read Sam, even when nobody else could. The fact that he didn’t correct me for calling him Sammy should have been my first clue.

"At Jim’s. I was just about to head home. Why, what’s wrong?" With Sammy, direct was the best approach. With some hunters, it was easier to slowly work info out of them, but the Winchesters had always been straight shooters. Part of why I liked them.

"Are you sitting down?" Now I was really worried. Sam’s voice was heavy, and I hadn’t heard Dean or John in the background yet.

"Um, Sammy, I’m always sitting down kid. Or did you forget that part?" I smirked, sometimes humor was a good thing, but Sam didn’t rise to the bait.

I heard Dean chime in, "Of course she’s sitting down bitch." His voice was lighter, but still thick with worry.

"What’s going on Sam?" To get Dean rattled it was definitely bad.

"Caleb’s dead."

"Lisa? Hey Lisa, you there girl?" I heard Dean’s voice yelling through the phone. I don’t know how long I was out of it, but it must have been enough to scare the boys.

"Yeah." I whispered. Son-of-a-bitch.

"You scared us there, babe." I heard the relief in his voice.

"Sorry." My brain seemed to be stuck. Caleb. Big brother, protector, parent, best friend, dead. "How did you guys find out?" My brain started turning again. I shut off the emotional part and turned on the hunter part. I had done it often enough recently and it scared me at how easily I could turn off my grief.

"The bitch that slit Jim’s throat called us. She had Caleb tied up and was taunting Dad." Dean sighed, "She admitted to killing Jim, and then slit Caleb’s throat to let Dad listen as he died. She then said Dad had to take the Colt to Lincoln by midnight tonight or more of our friends would die."

Okay, proof that it was a demon, proof that the same thing killed Jim and my br-Caleb. "It’s a trap."

"Yeah, Dad knew, so we got a fake Colt to trade."

"He went alone?" I was shocked; he left his boys behind to deal with a demon himself. One that had killed two hunters already today.

"Yeah, we got a bead on the thing that killed Mom and Jessica, so we’re here with the Colt to finish it."

"That’s probably a trap too, you know." I closed my eyes; I couldn’t lose the Winchesters today too.

"Maybe, but if we don’t try, another family is going to lose their mom like we did." There was a conviction in Dean’s voice that only came out when he was talking about his dad’s crusade.

"Be careful." I couldn’t come up with anything better to say. "I’m going to take care of Caleb and get the dangerous things from Jim’s stored away. Then I’m going to hunt that bitch down and destroy her." Wow, an emotion seeped into my voice. Anger, and seething pain-fueled hatred.

"Well, we know she’s in Lincoln right now, but hopefully Dad’s going to take care of her."

"Yeah. Keep me posted?"

"Sure. We’ll call you once we take care of the demon." Dean said and I heard him hand over the phone.

"Have your dad call me when you talk to him next. I want to be sure he’s really ok too."

"Of course Lisa. I wish we could be there to help with Caleb." I could hear the regret in Sam’s voice.

"I know, and I appreciate the thought, Sam, but you’ve got your own things to worry about." I thought for a second. I didn’t like any of this. "Be careful, Sam, things are moving too quickly for my liking. Something big is going down. Watch yourself, and that fool brother of yours."

"You be careful too, girl. If this thing is going after our friends you’re probably high on the list."

"I’m always careful Sam. Good luck."

I closed my phone at that. I just sat on Jim’s porch, numb. My brother was dead. Killed in our home by the same thing that killed Jim. I was going to kill her. Not just exorcise her but actually destroy her.

I thought for a few seconds, and sent Sam a text message, "Do you know what she looks like right now?"

It took a minute but he sent back a picture of a pretty little blonde woman, the caption read "Meg Masters".

I texted back, "THX" and threw the phone into my pack.

At that point I let myself have a mini-breakdown. Better here and now, than to have it when I’m on the road. It took me a couple of minutes to get myself back under control. I went back into Jim’s house and grabbed the duffel with the things I had to take home. I wasn’t going abandon my job, but I needed to get home. Someone had to take care of Caleb. And that someone would have to be me.

I got in the car and left as though the flames of hell were licking at my wheels because it was possible that they were.

Let me know what you think.
Lady Starhawk

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